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Was talking to a long time dearest friend today. She is a friend that understands and feels energy, and she could sense last week that on my actual B I R T H D A Y , I was not feelin it.

The "ME" celebration that I usually like to enact did not show up this year. Like a carnival that missed this stop on its summer tour it just didn't show up.

I kept waiting for it

Normally the celebration begins on July 1, although it is not officially (Leo Season,) it is my birthday MONTH so let the festivities begin!

Openly celebrating my own birth with no restraint or pretense, just in pure joy, amuses me. I love the playfulness of an adult (me) childlike and unapologetically going around expressing excitement for their own birth date. It makes me smile and kind of cracks me up at the same time.

Like Icarus donning his new beautiful Wings in pure elation, he would FLY directly into the lure of the radiant Sun.

But not this year..

Instead, quite the opposite. My emotions swung the other way. Inward and quiet. When asked how I wanted to celebrate, I let my family decide. When asked what I wanted, I asked them if I could instead get them something, or if instead of a present could we just have "time" together.

As the summer days of July beat onward I became less and less of <M E>. I had taken the month off from White Flag classes and events and gotten very quiet to hear that whisper deep inside....

a Prayer really...


And then a series of events; I call it life L I F E -I N G. Like weather stirring, blowing, thrashing and thundering everything shifts and clears and I found myself left with the mantra. "I'm here now."

A feeling of longing that had kept me separate from everything else had slipped from me. My identity and relevance leaving me like watercolor ribbon streams infusing with all the other colors. I ceased to exist as the same separate outward seeking person (part) that I could not have made myself, "un- become," any sooner. Another layer cracks and falls off. The continuous molting and unbecoming of conscious living.

The loud quiet and still of it.

I am less of who I ever thought I was, and more of who I never thought I could become.

As I continue to let this frequency of a deeper truth permeate and we get "used ,"to each other, I realize it's always been. I just had to UN-BECOME to arrive.


I'm here to listen

to embody

to hear

to hold

to cook

to sleep

to walk

to bathe

to hold space

to feed you

to celebrate you

to SEE you

to honor you

to guide you

to show the way

to let it go

to be water

to be fire

to be earth

to be air

to be ether

to exist

to not exist

i am here now

i am here now

i am here now

✨We never get there and were never done

✨Don't give up before the miracle

✨love is all there is

.....and it starts with YOU /US _ Radically and unconditionally loving ourselves

(all the parts)

I'm here now.



walking into 58 like........ether

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